


Heartbreak of a Champion

by ThedasWitch



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Mage Hawke - Freeform, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5275865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThedasWitch/pseuds/ThedasWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke has known loss, pain, and heartbreak; but Fenris manages to put every one to shame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbreak of a Champion

Hawke had gone through more than her share of heartbreak.

The first had been at seventeen, when she gave everything to the baker’s boy, only to find him flirting with the miller’s daughter three days later. The only explanation he offered was “Her tits are better.”

A few years later, she felt a different, much worse pain when her father died. She shouldered the burden as best she could, vowing to herself that she would take his role as support to her mother and protector of the family secret. She and Bethany practiced their gift far from prying eyes, and sometimes she forgot the pain for a moment or two.

Then the Blight came, and she felt another chunk of her heart shatter watching her mother’s eyes as their home burned.

It only hurt half as much as when they had to leave Bethany’s body behind for the Darkspawn.

But she buried it again, refusing to mourn while her mother and brother were depending on her to forge a new life for them. She kept the feelings to herself, only allowing herself a few nights of silent tears into her pillow.

Then came the Deep Roads, and though she’d be forever grateful to Anders for saving her brother’s life, he was still lost to her. And then again she had to look her mother in the eye and tell her that their family had taken another blow. 

Again, Hawke forced herself not to think about the loss. She forced herself to move on and focus on the work to be done. She forced herself to focus on any bit of good she could still hold onto.

And for a moment, she thought that that bit of good could take the form of a rare smile from a deep-voiced elf. She was terrified, more than she had been in years, but Fenris was the rare bit of sunshine in the grey skies of Kirkwall.

An often scowling, possessing-the-ability-to-rip-hearts-out-with-a-hand bit of sunshine, but a spot of brightness none the less.

More than once, she was tempted to reach across the table at the Hanged Man, grab him by the collar, and haul him over for a kiss.

She always restrained herself, reasoning that their friendship--unrequited longing notwithstanding--was too big a part of what kept her sane to risk losing.

But then he was in her home, and finally finally kissing her, and his hands were in her hair. And then he was holding her, and in her bed, and it was so much more than she’d ever let herself imagine. He was strong, beautiful, intense--everything she now realized she had loved about him for so long.

And for a moment, when she fell asleep next to him, she was happy.

But then she woke, and he wasn’t next to her. He was dressed, staring into her fireplace with that familiar brooding expression.

_Was it that bad?_

Hawke joked, of course; that’s what she did. The whole time hoping, praying that she misunderstood the situation somehow, that he wasn’t leaving, that he wasn’t going to be the next entry in her long list of heartbreaks.

_I cannot do this._

_I’m sorry...forgive me._

But she was wrong. She was always wrong. And he left, taking the remains of her fractured heart with him.

**Author's Note:**

> I might do a less angsty follow-up to this if I find the time.


End file.
